I’m a nurse.
So I get it.
More than most folks in this country right now, I dare say my co-workers and fellow nurses around the country, we get it.
It’s not new to us, the nagging, lingering anxiety that in our efforts to heal, we will succumb to the very diseases we treat. Working at the bedside is a bit like the old Hotel California … we clock in any time we like, but we never really leave.
So last night I had to shut ‘er down. My TV, my facebook feeds, my Twitter news lists…anything that reminded me of the chaos, the politicalization, the breaches of protocol, the talking heads … most of whom will get nowhere near a single strain of Ebola ever … and the way the media spins sick nurses and hospital administrators overwhelmed with the unthinkable … things which in fact…
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It is a feeling of hopelessness that brings us to this place. Desperate to save those who suffer. Determined to prevent those we hope never will. We are clawing and grasping to find any morsel of earth to hold onto when we feel like we’re spiraling out of control.
It is hopelessness. I know that now.
I used to think it was ignorance. Or lack of caring. I used to get angry. Every October when the grocery aisles started to display a sea of pink. “Pinkwashing” we call it now. Pink ribbons. Pink products. Pink everywhere. A tradition so old it has a name. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it used to make me so angry to watch the way we commercialize it.
Then my father has a brush with the C word. The word we don’t even want to spell because it feels too forewarning and…
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That’s the artist Yves Klein jumping off a building in the photograph above. Taken on October 19, 1960, the photograph is titled The Leap into the Void. The first time Klein leapt, he broke an ankle. It’s my understanding that he considered that first jump—taken months before the October leap—the one that really counted. He jumped again to document the performance,and the second time there were people below holding a tarpaulin in which to catch him. He later created (or his photographers created) a photo montage that made him appear to fly.
I once tried to learn how to fake-levitate. I studied the Balducci method, which involves balancing on the toes of one foot, while the other foot, the one closest to your small, carefully positioned audience, is raised two or so inches off the floor. What the audience sees is a person who…
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News reached me a while back that there may not be a US version of The IT Crowd. Apparently, there’s been a change of management at NBC and they’ve gone off the idea. I found this out on the Internet, which is how I find out all my information on the US IT Crowd.
To be frank, I have very mixed feelings on whether or not this counts as bad news. The IT Crowd is a very British show in the sense that it comes from a tradition of surreal sitcom that doesn’t really have an equivalent in America. The only point in a mainstream U.S. network taking on a show like this would be to reinvent it from the ground up, using my story-lines and characters merely as a jumping-off point, throwing away what’s not useful and keeping everything else. Judging by the pilot I saw, this…
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There are moments when you feel the stars align and the gods have smiled down upon you, and then there are the moments when you’re actually awake.
This week has been an exercise in staying off the “She’s gone postal” bulletin. I’m sure it’s not been pleasant for anyone around me, despite my epic efforts to remain sane and calm and far away from a loaded shotgun.
It all began with a tiny glitch in the air conditioning.
The “glitch” was that it stopped working. And I’m sure everyone is perfectly aware of the chapter in the manual that states all A.C. glitches will occur at precisely the moment when previously unseen record blowing heat waves sweep across your area and stall atop your house. This is a given.
Fueled by an inordinate amount of optimism, I brush it off and call the repair fellah who kindly comes three days later…
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